SCIENCE JOKES

                                                        PHYSICS JOKES

Q: What did the duck say to the physicist?

A: Quark, quark, quark!

Q: What did the quantum physicist say before the bar fight?

A: Let me atom!

Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?

A: Seeing you from the back, I thought you were repulsive. But seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road?

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on this side of the road.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, “How much for a whiskey?” 

The bartender smiles and says, “For you, no charge.”

Q: Why can’t you take electricity to social outings?

A: Because it doesn’t know how to conduct itself.

Q: Why can’t you trust an atom?

A: They make up everything.

Q: How many general-relativity theoretists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate space.